Happy November! If you are anything like me, you woke up feeling like it can’t possibly be November yet. I had to limit my Instagram scrolling because suddenly everything turned from pumpkins and fall leaves to Christmas! Just a big pass over Thanksgiving. I have always forced myself to be patient for the holidays, holding out to decorate for Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving, but over the past couple of years, I have been succumbing to the external pressures of getting it all done early so “I have more time to enjoy the holidays.” I have decided that I am no longer adopting this mentality. All it has done for me is make me spend twice the amount of money on decoration and gifts because I have had twice the time! 

This brings me to today’s thoughts about getting things done. I noticed today that I was starting to slip back into my ‘doing mode’ and slipping out of my ‘being mode.’ In my ‘being mode’, I take time to meditate daily, practice gratitude and measure my days by the amount of connectedness I feel with others and the joy that comes from exchanges with my husband and all of my kids. A great day for me is when I have connected with all seven of my kiddos on some level, whether it be Facetime, Snapchat, in person or on the phone. But here I was starting to allow the ‘doing’ to define myself and my day. I woke up feeling the need for production. I heard myself say, “Oh, good for you Joan, you got all of your clothes hung up and the laundry put away.” I felt my internal voice praising me for my tasks. I was checking things off my to-do list. I was being productive and therefore I was worthy of another day on this planet! 

And then I sat down to do the FAFSA. Because if I could do this, I would really reach new levels of productivity! If you know anything about doing the FAFSA, you know that it is a daunting task of applying for federal student aid that for me typically takes a good part of a day, or two, with multiple fits and starts. And lucky me, I get to do it three times this year.  After collecting all of the necessary paperwork items I would need (a huge feat in and of itself since I am currently in a walking boot with a pair of crutches and everything I needed was scattered in different places around my house), I got down to work. Let’s just say, it didn’t go well. I got bumped out of the system at least 3 times, losing most of what I did each time. I was also interrupted by my daughter panicking and needing my computer RIGHT THIS MINUTE because her meeting was starting and her computer wouldn’t load her meeting!!! (subsequently bumped out again)…

Hours wasted…and this productive feeling that I was feeling was gone and so was my feeling of worth for the day…

Do you ever feel this way?? That you need to be constantly productive?? That your day is based on what you can accomplish? That your self worth is based on how many work calls you made, how many drop off and pick ups you did and the items that you crossed off the never ending list running through your head all day?

I called one of my best friends today and told her how frustrated I was that I was seven weeks post surgery and was still hobbling around on my crutches, relying on everyone for almost everything. I told her how badly I wanted to be up and moving and getting things done. She encouraged me to focus on moving forward with my rehab and to give myself some grace. She was right. Our conversation made me reflect. The first few weeks after my surgery were some of the best of my life. Instead of running around being busy and crossing things off my to-do list, I was resting, connecting with friends I hadn’t seen or talked to in forever, writing in my journals, reading, and talking to my college kids in the middle of the day. It was glorious. I was just being and with that came an overwhelming feeling of peace and joy.

I felt instantly grateful for the time I had been given, and yet I know I can’t do this forever. Eventually I will be heading back to real world of work and caught up in the pressures and commitments that go along with my job. But I also know that I don’t have to be doing, doing all the time. 

The key to life I am starting to see is balancing the doing with the not doing, the doing with the just being…there needs to be a balance. What if, in addition to getting things done in our day, we gave ourselves permission to just be?

So what does just being look like? If I have heard it once, I have heard it a hundred times from people telling me that they just don’t have time to take a break in their day or to sit down to rest or meditate. I am here to tell you that taking just ONE MINDFUL MINUTE a day will yield results. All of these simple techniques can be done by just setting your phone timer for 1 minute. 

1. Close your eyes. Take a deep cleansing breath through your nose and blow it out through your mouth. Visualize yourself letting go of whatever is stressing you or whatever you are holding on to with each long exhale. You will be amazed at what 1 minute can do.
2. Take one minute to say what you are grateful for. I typically do this exercise in the car on my way to work. I start with being grateful for another day to learn and to grow and from there I get more specific. The more specific you can be, the more you will start to appreciate all of the little things in life. Instead of saying, I am grateful for my daughter, you might say, I am grateful I got to give my daughter a kiss goodbye today before she left for school.
3. And lastly, take a minute to repeat a mantra that resonates with you. Since we are focusing on just being and not doing, a mantra I have adopted for this is:

“I am enough. Who I am is enough. What I do is enough. And what I have is enough”

Taking a mindful minute is a great way to reset and to shift your thoughts out of the constant doing, to incorporate some more of the being. For it is truly in the being where we can experience more and lasting joy. I hope you give these techniques a try! Off to take my own mindful minute before I dive back into the FAFSA’s!!